Panic at the Chapel
by Emilytheweird
Summary: HermioneDraco One shot Marriage Law. Inspired by a song, but not a song fic. Give it a try and review. Hermione makes a quick change at the chapel.


Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just a poor girl with no claim over any bit of the Harry Potter World. I'm not profiting due to this and hope no one sues me because I've got nothing to give.

Running a plain, unmanicured hand through her hair, Hermione stared at the parchment in front of her as if it may change any moment and release her from the predicament she was now in. Her eyes scanned the notice rapidly, picking out details. "Muggleborn defined as a witch or wizard with a known muggle in their family within the last five generations." "If petitioned for, a muggleborn witch or wizard has 12 months to marry the petitioner, if more than one petitioner exists, the muggleborn may have his of her choice. The marriage alone is final and a wand contract will be enacted during the ceremony."

"Well, fuck me." she muttered under her breath as she looked up from the document in her hand. The law had actually been passed. It was unbelievable. If she had only been born a muggle like her mother and father and their mothers and fathers she'd be in dental school right now and probably meet a nice dentist. But no, instead she was sitting in a small apartment off diagon alley reading this ridiculous law. There were no loopholes. She would be forced to marry any pureblood who petitioned for her. Any freak ex-deatheater's son with a taste for vengeance could legally make her a slave in every way. Her only hope of freedom was the possibility that no one would petition for her. After all, the number of muggleborns in comparison to purebloods was in her favor. Perhaps she'd be spared and wouldn't be petitioned for at all. 'Yes, that was likely.' she thought. 'I've been fairly low profile since the war, and maybe no one will think to...'

"Aw, fuck me again." She said louder this time as she looked out her window and saw no less than 16 owls headed her way, in their beaks the ministry seals sparkled in the sun. The owls arrived at her closed window and began to peck at the glass trying to get inside. Hermione didn't move, she simply stared at the window and let her head fall into her hands.

"I'm royally fucked."

"Well it's not so bad, I mean at least you get a choice." Ginny said as Hermione dumped the 16 proposals on dinner table at the burrow.

"Yeah, pick your deatheater with Hermione Granger, tonight's applicants have a taste for blood lets meet our contestants."

"Oh stop. Some of these men are very respectable and well off. They can't all be bad." said Ginny sensibly.

"No, just old, stupid, and ugly." Hermione replied annoyed at the lack of sympathy from her friend Ginny.

"Come on now Hermione. Look here, this one is from that Ravenclaw a year ahead of you, Alan Douglas, he is probably nice."

"Yeah, probably. That's the thing Gin, I don't even know him. I'd rather marry Malfoy, and then at least I'd know who he was." Hermione said.

"Well here's your chance to make that dream come true." Ginny laughed out loud and handed Hermione a petition from Draco Malfoy.

"More like a nightmare Gin. But put him to the side in the 'at least I know him' pile. Again I'd rather marry him that some guy I've never met before."

"If that is your main concern, knowing the man, than I suggest you get used to being called Mrs. Malfoy, because honestly Hermione, he's the only name I recognize."

"Well fuck me while I'm down."

"I'll petition for Hermione. I mean that way she won't be stuck with that git Malfoy. Plus I mean Hermione and I have been friends forever, we'll work it out." Ron Weasley said to his best friend Harry Potter.

"Think about it Ron, I'm not saying you two couldn't work it out but would you be happy? And would she be happy?" Harry questioned watching his friend carefully.

"Harry, you worry too much. I'm the pureblood and I have to pick a bride anyway, might as well pick one I've known. Hermione will have to make some adjustments, but she'll get over it."

Ron Weasley picked up a quill and wrote the ministry. "There, she'll get that within the hour. The ministry has already decided the date she'll be married, so all we've got to do is show up with the rings. Makes my job easy."

"Is it really appropriate to wear that to your own wedding Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"Wedding? Who's getting married? I'm being sold at auction, it's the end of my life, and my mother always told me to wear black to funerals."

"Well fine, ruin your own wedding if you like, but at least try to act a little better. You are marrying my brother for Merlin's sake it won't be that bad."

"It can't be good." Hermione whispered.

"I'm going to check the groom and other bridesmaids, I'll be right back." Ginny said.

Draco Malfoy paced the pews of the church. To his left he heard a bridesmaid say to a waiter, "What a beautiful wedding." 'Yeah,' he thought to himself, 'to bad the bride's groom is a whore.'

Looking to his left, he heard the sounds of giggles and whispering. Walking into the corridor he found the source of the noise. With the door wide open, Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown were in the middle of a serious make out session. 'And with his soon to be wife across the hall.' thought Draco.

"Haven't you people ever heard of, closing the god damn door?!" Draco yelled as loud as he could disgustedly.

Lavender and Ron pulled apart quickly, but not quick enough as a distressed looking Hermione, with her hair half done, came out of her room and into theirs.

"Well fuck me." Hermione whispered.

"I think you're next in line," Draco whispered back, "but don't worry, 10 gallons say this doesn't take long."

"Hermione don't freak out, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality." Ron said desperately.

"'It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality?' What the fuck is that supposed to mean Ron?" Hermione yelled.

"'Well in fact, well just look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is safe. We can still get married and all." Ron said.  
Draco, deciding this was a good time to chime in his opinion said, "Well this calls for a toast so, pour the champagne."

"Hey fuck you Malfoy! Who invited your ferret ass anyway?! Get lost, this isn't your concern." Ron snarled at Malfoy.

"At least he's concerned at all!" Hermione screamed at Ron. "You don't even fucking give a shit."

"We aren't married yet so I can do whatever the fuck I want until we sign the contract, and since I'm the pureblood in this relationship, I can do whatever I want even after the fact. So get your ass ready and I'll see you at the alter in a few."

"Oh hell no. I'd rather be obliviated and left to live the muggle life than be your sorry wife. Fuck getting married." Hermione yelled and walked out of the room.

"Aw, Hermione come back." Ron said as he tried to get up but was held down by Lavender.

"Hermione wait up." Draco called after her as she walked as fast as she could from the church, ripping out hairpins as she went.

"No, I'm serious; I'd rather be a fucking muggle. Then at least I can pick who I marry." Hermione cried.

"Come back, you have to get married today. You can't go back to the life of a muggle, now get back in that church. You're getting married." Draco called out to her.

"To Ron? I'd rather die."

"Who says you'll have to marry that asshole?"

"So who am I going to marry then if not Ron?"

"I petitioned for you too, you know." Draco said softly.

Hermione walked back up to the church slowly, Draco by her side. As they walked inside Ron called out from the alter, "Nice of you to show up, now get up here."

"Excuse me weasleby, you are in my spot." Draco yelled.

Now all eyes turned to Ron. "Excuse me?! I'm the groom here, so back off ferret."

"I don't think so Ron." Hermione said loudly.

"What do you mean?" Ron sounded confused.

"She means that since no wand contract has been accepted she still has her choice, and she and I will be married today. So move your ass out of my place before I do it for you weasel." Draco smiled as Ron's face began to turn a dark red color.

"Oh no you don't, we are getting married." Ron growled at Hermione.

"You asked for this, Expelliarmus!" Draco's spell hit Ron hard. Ron was thrown to the back wall and collapsed in a heap on the floor. "Shall we?" Draco said to his wife to be.

Hermione smiled "Yes, we shall."

Fin

So this was inspired by a song. Can you guess what song? Well I hope you liked this story. It's my first fic and so I'm not sure if it's any good. This one is just a one-shot but I hope to write more in the future. Reviews appreciated but be constructive and not mean, no one likes hate mail. :-)


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